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January 21, 2020


Bringing up a child in our religion

Marriage is a vital need for people. Peace and happiness are supported in the family. A person, who travels the world to find well-being, finds it only in the family. A family is a garden and a child is the most beautiful flower there. The smile and laughter of this little creature is the greatest joy in the family. The smell of a child is smell of paradise. How important is water and light for the flower’s maturity, perfection, and unique aroma. This means that both a father and a mother have a unique role in parenthood, in becoming of a child a perfect person and being beneficial with his knowledge in the family, society, country, and in the whole world. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to control the situation. This sacred bond – a family is sometimes broken, whether we want it or not, despite the tears of children, parents sometimes divorce. Who stays with a child after divorce? According to our Shari’ah, bringing up of a child is given to a mother, because women are more compassionate and patient than men. A mother of a child is the first woman who has the right of a guardianship. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said to a woman who complained, that her husband was going to take her child from her whom she had suckled and brought up: “It is your right to take a child until you marry”. (Narrated by Abu Dawud, Bayhaqi and Hakim) According to Hanafi and Shafi madhhab, those who are deserving of bringing up a child after his mother are his both grandmothers, his sister and then his mother’s sister. This means that if a child has no parents, he is taken care by his grandmothers and aunts. If there are no other caregivers for a child, a mother must look after a child. If there are other caregivers, a mother’s responsibility to look after the child is gone. If a mother marries, she loses the right to be the first caregiver. A man who wants to marry a woman does not have to accept her children. If children have no other caregivers, it becomes obligated for him to care them. Otherwise, a child is likely to be lost. The same is concerning women too. It is her right to accept her husband’s children or not. A wife has to look after children if they need care and there is no one else. She adopts children or she does not marry. A father pays allowance for a child in spite of the fact who takes care of him. If a mother is poor, she consumes this allowance with her child. If a child does not have a father, a child’s wealth is spent. If a child does not have wealth, a person who takes care of a child has to pay allowance for him. A little girl is given to her mother who is married to another man, or she may...